Busy bee! Herbs, Cooking, Bench time :)

Well I’ve been at my bench pretty much all day, quite proud of myself that I had the discipline to stay there with no real deadline hanging over my head. I had been worried that once I stopped teaching and I had “lots of” time, I would end up being really slow in what I got done. But I did good today, when I stopped for a rest it was because my back needed it, I did my stretches and I’m feeling pretty sore now but I think I’ll go have a bath to make the ache go away.

I finished teaching last week, but a million other things happened and I did have to go in Monday and tues last week so this is my first real week unemployed. I’ve planned out some exercise for Tues wed and thurs so we can see if I can start to make things really better, and I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday with my GP. See if she can give me some answers about the surgery and that as well get my blood pressure etc checked. I have a feeling the amitriptiline has lowered my blood pressure and I just want it checked.

I had my herbal medicine class on sat which was fab and I now plan this week on trying to make a chilli ointment to see if that helps with my neck, heat generally helps and it’s very awkward to keep a hot water bottle up on my neck all the time, so going to give ointment a go. Really really enjoying the class, and actually enjoyed doing the homework so going to try spend some time over the next few weeks reading up on herbs in some of the million books I picked up over the years. Just from doing my homework I have decided I should eat more Coriander and Tumeric and that my aloe vera plant is amazing, and I really want to attempt to sauté nettles! I’m also hooked on nettle tea at the mo, maybe my body is trying to cleanse itself.

We had lots of people over on sat night, was really good to see people and be social, but a lot of work! Too many people with too many allergies/preferences etc at one time, but I think everyone got fed in the end and we’ve been eating the leftovers since. I had sushi for breakfast yesterday and apple crumble for brunch today! Still doing the dishes too! Our sink is blocked a bit I think and it takes ages for the water to go down, so we have to wash a sink full and leave it for an hour or so to go down before the next one, of course once you’ve gone off to do something you tend to forget to come back, so I think probably about 3 sinks left to go!

My neck was in serious pain by the end of sat, so I took it very easy yesterday and both of us had a day of nothing! I spent ages online talking to people in etsy forums and reading and we played age of the empires cause we’re big kids and we watched some true blood, which I just can’t get fast enough! Got another one to watch tonight J

Hope everyone is well!

I'm a teacher no more!

Well I’m finished, I’m no longer a teacher, I have one last role to fill with a parents evening tomorrow but otherwise I’m done. Part of me is just relieved, I wasn’t able and it was sucking the life out of me, I can now recoup, do the exercise I’m meant to and build up my business. But there is another huge chunk of me that is sad, I spent a long time training to be a teacher, I put in a lot of work last year prepping notes thinking ah well they’ll stand to me afterwards and now that’s gone. On the other hand I don’t need to worry about appearances so much anymore, my hair has been died uber red again now and my hippy skirt and big snow boots were worn all weekend, I can be me again.

I do of course still need to live, so I need to get my ass in gear with the business, I have myself a giant to do list and I’m trying to tick off stuff, but no one seems  to be answering their bloody phone and folksy is being very very slow to upload listings! But we’ll get there!

I’m on the mail list for this company yoga fever and very interested in some of their offers, thinking I’ll go for the £25 for unlimited yoga in December and if I manage to use it I may try scrounge the money together for January, also thinking about the course of workshops in the new year. The fitter I can get the better! But for now back to my phone calls.

The new drugs don't work, they don't make it worse, but I know I'll see the doc again.

Well these new drugs are not cutting it at all! Had really bad neck pain the last two days and I’m not impressed! Did push myself a little too hard at my work bench but I had a deadline to get hallmarking sent off! It looks like I may be finishing in school next week. So I will no longer be a teacher does that mean I can tell people I’m a jeweller? Cause that would be pretty fab.

I’ve done a little research into this disc replacement surgery and it’s a pretty new thing, although given my age it does look like the other option of spinal fusion (which my doc didn’t suggest this is just what I read online) would be a very very stupid idea.

It’s a long ol recovery time though! A full week in hospital and then about 6 weeks recovery after that, so pretty much 2 months of my life I’m looking at loosing and that’s if everything goes ok! My brain has been plotting what could I do other then watch TV in that time, and I’m thinking writing is really the only productive thing. I can have lots of stock of jewellery ready to go as well so that I can keep the shop open, but anyway it’s ages away yet and I have to have tests to find out if it’s a goer. The idea that at least my mobility issues can be fixed though is very exciting!

 I’m going to give these new drugs a week and if they don’t work talk to my doc about going back on the old ones, what was I thinking saying that the sleepiness was worse than the pain! Rubbish!  

Spinal Surgery eeek!

Well the doctors appointment lived up to my expectations and crushed me!

He wants to operate and replace the disc that’s giving me hassle in my lower back. Currently it’s the biggest problem, my neck pain is mostly controllable (says she lying down with a hot water bottle propped behind her neck after popping a load of painkillers) and I get the impression nothing he can really do about that. But when he saw the MRI scan (which is at this stage 6 months old) and given that recently I’ve been having trouble with stairs and things like putting on my socks so it seems to be getting worse, he suggested this disc replacement surgery, he said there is no amount of drugs or exercise which can make it better. So I think I have to go for it! It’s a while off anyway, all these things take time, waiting lists etc, it’s not life threatening so doesn’t count as urgent which is fair enough, I’m scared enough of the whole thing to not really be in a rush!  A few tests and stuff to be done beforehand as well.

The thing that has me really freaked out is the idea that he’s going in through my tummy! I have a mental image of some movie I saw where I think it was a Vampire that pushed his hand through someone’s stomach grabbed their spine and snapped! I know that’s not what’s going to happen the boy even spent a while last night poking my stomach to illustrate how that’s not even possible, but the mental image won’t go away.

I also started this new tablet pregabalin on Sunday night which has been throwing my sense of balance out of whack, I went to bed Monday night with the spinnys and woke up with them still, yay! If it lasts the week I’m gonna go talk to the doc, I was only a little dizzy last night! Fingers crossed!

Bailed on Yoga and will be bailing on Tai Chi I think, I was too tired and wanted a day in with no people and just the boy and bunnies. Really stressed at the mo, and I never classed myself as someone who gets stressed! Need a break and some happy time!

Consultant tomorrow, gulp!

Well I have an appointment with the consultant in the morning, only met him once before and that was in March I think so I have lots of questions and I don't know if he will have any of the answers. I'm a happy smiley person today, my back is sore but I feel like the yoga is helping, realised I can now staighten my leg out up in the air while I'm lying on my back, a few weeks ago I couldn't because my hamstrings were so tight so yay my body is adjusting!

I'm hoping I'm still feeling happy after I see him, I have to go into work straight after so I best not be in bits!

Tai Chi and Yoga crazy Sarah.

Having myself a fab night! The boy is away and I’m treating myself, had a lovely chat to my mam, and later to my dad, drank yummy hot chocolate, soaked in the bath and gave myself a facial and scrubbed with a nice salt, oil, and honey mixture. It was so what I needed and I feel great! Gotten to do a little bit of work this evening but just what I felt like J

I was at the doc again yesterday, I had a strange pain in my side I was worried about, it turned out to be a pulled muscle, just a muscle I didn’t know I could pull! One of my intercostals ie between my ribs! How did I manage that! Doc said nothing to worry about just do stretches etc and he gave me a new pain tablet so I’m hoping that will help with the zombie Sarah that I’ve been lately, can’t remember what it’s called haven’t looked it up properly yet; I’m really very chilled this evening J

Got some books today which I’m really happy about, the first The Chinese Art of T'ai Chi Ch'uan is about Tai Chi and how to do it, has pictures and is very detailed, I’m really liking the class so I thought I’d swat up. The other The Tao of Long Life is all about being healthy in terms of nutrition etc as far as Taoism is concerned, haven’t started that one yet but looking forward to it.

Also munching on my graze box, loving them! You should check it out, get your first one for free with this code LKVLM5Z http://www.graze.com/

I’m really finding the Tai Chi helpful for the pain and for my mental health to be honest, the yoga too. Hoping to go to more of the hot yoga classes in yogafever, maybe some workshops too, I think I’ll aim to go to one a week or fortnight for Nov/Dec and then get the months pass in January and really go for it, I want to ease myself in, but not take too long! I am still doing my current yoga class on Wednesdays anyway and some at home. I’m optimistic tonight that I can get on top of this! Got to hold on to this feeling!

Some interesting videos and blogs

I’m in a funny ol mood today, I had a lovely morning, it’s my day off so I got up a little later than normal and I sat around with the bunnies writing my morning pages before I went to yoga class. The yoga class was nice, the people are really really friendly, even though I’ve only met them a few times it feels like they are really genuine people and really care, which is lovely! The class isn’t too harsh but stretches my stiff body  A LOT. I got frustrated today though, thinking about how much more I used to be able to do a few years ago compared with now and how this class which 2 years ago I would have classed as boring is going to leave me wrecked for most of the day. I nearly fell asleep in relaxation time, actually woke up when I felt myself start snoring. This stupid pain condition is ruling my life and I don’t know if knowing it is not in my head has made it worse or if it would have just gotten worse, but I’m really despairing at the moment.

One of the main things that is getting me is having to explain the issue to others, I look healthy and capable so people presume I can sit in a chair for an hour or I can lift a box, and I can’t or I can but I will be crying with the pain by the end of the day. But of course every time I explain to someone, they either get it and then the sympathy is horrible to see, or they think I’m a drama queen and I want to hit them over the head! There really is no winning for people! Poor Conan stuck living with me!

I have spent a bit of today looking online at some blogs etc that I subscribed to but never really get a proper chance to read through, and this one is definitely worth a look.

Also I would love if people could watch this video, I’m not saying that I feel like someone has a blowtorch on my back if you touch me, but I am tender, and it helped me to possibly understand why when a friend hugs me sometimes it really really hurts.

So tired!

I’ve been very bad with this the last while, really disappearing into a ball of stress lately, and I’m trying not to but easier said than done. Still in work and it’s taking all my energy, the whole no energy things is really getting frustrating, I know my tablets are making the pain less but I thought I’d get used to them and get my energy back but It doesn’t seem to be getting better, not sure which is worse the pain or the tiredness to be honest!

I have an appointment with the consultant next week I hope I get something useful out of him, some answers some idea of long term what this whole rubbish means!

On a positive side I went to a yoga workshop on Sunday, it was a more spiritual type of yoga, lots of chanting and being silly, and meditation. I really enjoyed it, want to find out more to be honest, but that’s just another thing to be doing! I haven’t even gotten to do my Herbal Medicine homework that was due 2 weeks ago! I need more energy!

Oh well day off tomorrow, yoga in the morning, tai chi in the evening and hopefully some silver work in the middle! I’m ready for bed now. Night night.