I’m in a funny ol mood today, I had a lovely morning, it’s my day off so I got up a little later than normal and I sat around with the bunnies writing my morning pages before I went to yoga class. The yoga class was nice, the people are really really friendly, even though I’ve only met them a few times it feels like they are really genuine people and really care, which is lovely! The class isn’t too harsh but stretches my stiff body A LOT. I got frustrated today though, thinking about how much more I used to be able to do a few years ago compared with now and how this class which 2 years ago I would have classed as boring is going to leave me wrecked for most of the day. I nearly fell asleep in relaxation time, actually woke up when I felt myself start snoring. This stupid pain condition is ruling my life and I don’t know if knowing it is not in my head has made it worse or if it would have just gotten worse, but I’m really despairing at the moment.
One of the main things that is getting me is having to explain the issue to others, I look healthy and capable so people presume I can sit in a chair for an hour or I can lift a box, and I can’t or I can but I will be crying with the pain by the end of the day. But of course every time I explain to someone, they either get it and then the sympathy is horrible to see, or they think I’m a drama queen and I want to hit them over the head! There really is no winning for people! Poor Conan stuck living with me!
I have spent a bit of today looking online at some blogs etc that I subscribed to but never really get a proper chance to read through, and this one is definitely worth a look.
Also I would love if people could watch this video, I’m not saying that I feel like someone has a blowtorch on my back if you touch me, but I am tender, and it helped me to possibly understand why when a friend hugs me sometimes it really really hurts.
Thanks for the link! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI usually go in cycles, comparing what I am capable now to long ago, or even a couple of years ago (when I was quite a lot better), then managing to not let it bother me for a while. Rinse, repeat.
I find the large number of inspiring TED talks and blogs useful for snapping me out of particularly bad slumps. But it works better when I'm not juggling an overloaded schedule of projects, as is often the case! ;-)
Yep I'm definitly guilty of having too much on the go at once! Really trying to get the business off the ground but there just isn't enough time!
ReplyDeleteI'm in an optimistic part of the cycle today, but I finally have an appointment with the spinal consultant guy tomorrow morning so not sure if that will last! Fingers crossed!