Back to school tomorrow

I can’t believe it’s the end of midterm, I think I’m avoiding bed even though I’m wrecked just because I don’t want to wake up and go back! I’m so tired all the time and sore, and trying to care about a job I already handed in my notice for is just too hard. I’m also really annoyed that the million things I wanted to do over midterm didn’t get done, lots of other stuff got in the way.

Amongst them I’m now signed up for the exercise referral scheme which I have to go to this week but I don’t know when because I think I have a job but I’m hoping I don’t!

I’ll try do a proper post tomorrow. I think nanowrimo is going to have to be skipped too many millions of things to do, and I really really wanted to do it! But I need to get to my bench more often, and all the exercise I’m trying to do is taking up a lot of my time.

Lots and lots of exercise!

I’m continuing on with the yoga, got a bit more free time this week on account of midterm so I’ve just gone to my first hot yoga class ever oh my I’ve never sweated that much I didn’t know I had that much sweat in me! My lower back definitely feels better though, but I’m fairly knackered, it’s 8pm so that’s ok, but don’t think I’d be able for morning class! I may go again on Wed eve depending on how I feel tomorrow really and I’m going to a workshop on Sunday morning which deals a little with the philosophy of yoga which I’m very curious about. Luckily I have a nice friend that’s going with me so we can make each other do it J No whimping out! Especially on Sunday morning!

I have in general been feeling a little better the last week or so, the exercise is helping and I have been a little less stressed on account of midterm. I think I can manage my pain if I get to plan my own day, so I just have to hope I can start selling a decent amount of jewellery to live on the profit. Fingers crossed!

The bunnies have been in fantastic mood the last few days so that’s cheered me up too!

Oh and Footloose the new movie is great fun, as is Crazy Stupid Love and Real Steel, it was a bit of a cinema weekend J Midnight in Paris tomorrow I think although usually blah about Woody Allen!

Yay finally just managed to pop my ears!

A giant whopper of a ray of sunshine

Well my back is a hell of a lot better today courtesy of my wonderful new yoga teacher! She got me doing some back bends I’ve never seen before and it got rid of my neck pain, for a good few hours, it’s back now and I’m a little cautious of trying it myself not warmed up or anything, but I have Tai Chi in an hour anyway and that usually helps. My lower back is still a little sore and stiff but better then it was.

The kinda gardening has also continued on today, I bought a sprouter instead of making one, cause I’m lazy and the seeds are all set to go, and the water cress is already sprouted a few mm in 24hours! Which is well cool! Bunnies will be eating it in no time! Looking forward to watching my sprouts and then figuring out how to eat them, suggestions welcome, I have mung bean, alfala (which I can not pronounce or spell in the slightest) sunflower, and mustard seeds. It’s doing my stress levels wonders too!

Took today pretty easy, after yoga came home went to the veg shop and the health shop this really nice little co op near us which is where I got the sprouter as well as some amazing apple bread! Yum! And then been reading stuff on etsy most of the day, should have made stuff but I’m really trying to figure out how to sell stuff, it’s getting closer and closer to it being my main source of income and I now have 50 items listed and more ready to list, so I gotta get sales going!

Anywho my back feels much better, a 2 hour yoga class and one particular stretch did me far more good then all the drugs and giant needles the doctors have filled me with, says a lot about modern medicine! Gotta get me into a yoga filled routine! I think I’m gonna go all new agey! ...well more so, bring on hippy Sarah!

Day off work

I didn’t go into work today, I really wasn’t up to it and I’m still not 100% I am a little better though, I spent a chunk of today relaxing and it felt great! I read my book, I planted seeds and transplanted some plants that had gotten too big for their pots. My kitchen is covered in plants now, see the pics on my other blog.

I also went and got some snow boots, my feet feel the cold no end come the winter and I was miserable last winter so I bit the bullet and got decent boots,  they’re kinda cute so they’ll be fine with a skirt albeit a kinda quirky look and they fit under my jeans fine. So yay warm feet this winter! They also fit my insoles which I now seem to have enough shoes to fit that I can wear them pretty much the whole time.

The de-stress day definitely helped my back, but the walk to pottery class and back didn’t so I’m quite tired and sore again, so an earlyish night for me now, I’m up bright and early for yoga class at ten and I have Tai Chi tomorrow evening so hopefully one or other will make me feel a bit better and I can get back to work on Thursday. I also feel a sore throat brewing so shall be garlic-ing it up tomorrow!

On a good note, the bunnies have been in great spirits the last few days, we’ve let them into our bedroom to run riot and I have to get a video of the lunatics to post up here. They really help cheer me up no end!

What lives under my bed!

Stupid lower back!

Well I did something to my lower back last night, not a clue what! And now I’m fecked! I went into work today thinking that if I didn’t I’d just end up sitting round all day feeling sorry for myself and seize up worse. But I was in bits and I was eaten alive by the kids! So I got home more than a little upset and annoyed at the world and rang my consultant’s secretary to find out what the hell is happening! I now have an appointment for Nov 7^th

I’m fairly relieved but I’m still very very sore, I’m having trouble walking and that’s new. Conan is gone out to a science evening in the museum that looked really good, but I whimped out, I’m too sore and tired, I feel lousey now that I didn’t go especially since he’s on his own and doesn’t know anyone there which he thought he would. He also ran into someone that I kinda know in a teaching capacity who it turns out he was talking to and also has osteoarthritis, I really should have gone. This sucks! I’m too young for this crap! I think I’ll curl up with a book, I told my boss I might not be in tomorrow depending how bad I am, they still haven’t got any decent applications for my job L

Funny ol day and mood

Much less stressed today! Still very tired but I got to veg on the sofa most of the day, albeit while doing important stuff, yay buying TV licence etc! Did get a lot of businessy stuff done and got the kiln fired, as well as lots of cleaning done. Finding it harder and harder to get the cleaning done, I seem to be able to do stuff but for a limited time, and then I reach a point where if I bend over I’m not 100% sure I’ll get back up L But for the most part my back hasn’t been too bad today and I’ve been putting things in motion for my business actually taking off.

I am a little bummed though after I talked to someone today, someone close to me, and yet again had the conversation where I have to convince them that no it’s not going to all be magically all better in a few weeks/months/years and that I do actually just have to find a way to deal with the pain. Other people being in denial about it should just wake up and cop on, because I want to just move on and deal with it, not have to spend my time explaining why my life is f%^&*d!

I feel a little like I’m battling against the fact that it’s an invisible illness. If I tell people, I feel like I’m moaning or whingeing, but if I don’t I find myself being asked to do stuff or lift stuff that I can’t really do, and when I have to say no I can’t do that, I feel like sometimes people just think it’s an excuse or me being lazy. Especially when it’s something I can physically do, at the moment, but I know that in an hour it will have me in so much pain I’ll have to go lie down for the rest of the day.

Hmm that post was a lot less happy go lucky then I’d intended!

Sad day

I’m having a bad day today, I know I have lots to do, and I’m getting stressed about how much I have to do and avoiding doing anything, I know it’s completely counterproductive but I can’t seem to make myself do anything, I’m sure at least some of it is PMS, but mostly I’m just very very frustrated with life! It feels like I don’t get to control any of it and I’m waiting for other people to do stuff all the time. The current pressing need is to get some lesson planning done, and I can’t do it, I feel like crying when I think of it, I’m sore, I’m tired, and I’m cranky (I’ll admit it) and I don’t know the subject myself, I don’t understand it and I don’t have the ability to learn it at the moment. But my job hasn’t even been advertised yet, so I’m going to have to teach it, and I’m going to have to do it tomorrow. And I don’t know if I can!

I’ve wondered if maybe I should try and go talk to someone see if I can get myself in a better place mentally to deal with the pain, but aside from the how would I pay question, there is also the fact that I don’t think it would help. It doesn’t seem to be going away, all the pills do is mask it a little and turn me into a zombie.

I need to get out of the apt and do something to distract myself and cheer me up, supposed to be going to the cinema this eve, but by the time I get home I’ll prob be too tired and it’ll be too late to get the work done. I feel trapped!

It's exercise time!

Well I’ve thrown myself into exercise this week, I think it’s probably the best way I have of dealing with the pain and making sure it doesn’t get worse, of course I may have done a little too much at once! And now I’m done for!

I started Tai Chi on Wed, which was really really interesting, I think it’s going to do a lot for my posture and for my stress, and I know my pain is worse when I’m stressed, I’m also quite interested in reading up about it and finding out about chi etc.

I started Yoga on Thurs, I’ve done yoga before, gone to multiple teachers and I like a fairly fast class since Ashtanga is the type I originally did. This class was pretty awful, she teaches a really slow type of yoga with no flow, also she didn’t really seem to teach us the basics, not so important for me since I’ve done it before, but quite important for the newbie’s. I pulled my lower back and it’s been pretty sore since! I’m gonna go back to her next week probably but if still don’t like her I’m finding another class!

Friday I didn’t plan anything, I was really sore from the exercise and the walk to the train station and back was probably enough, I passed out around 8 on the sofa and then curled up in bed with my book.

Saturday I went to my first ever Zumba class, my friends gym had an open day, fantastic fun! But oh god it was about 20mins too long! My legs were not having any of it by half way through I just couldn’t get them to move! Went for a nice dip in the pool (we didn’t bother to swim just floated and chatted) Jacuzzi and steam room, I felt pretty good leaving the gym! Need to join one, just for the pool and the steam room, heat seems to help my back pain, I always feel much better after a steam, not so much the sauna. Unfortunatly that one is really nice but it’s too far away, I’d never walk up and no point in having to get a bus to the gym. Ended up spending sat eve running around Canton playing an interactive game everwake http://www.everwakethegame.co.uk/ Which was good fun.

So I’m dead today! My legs thighs etc are in bits from Zumba, my feet are literally in bits from running in not runners around canton and my back is still really quite sore from Yoga, when I bend over I’m not sure I can get back up! So called in sick for work tomorrow, I’ve got work ready to email in for the kids and they already have my sick note from the doc. I handed in my written letter of resignation on Friday, and I hope they don’t take too long to find someone, I really can’t deal with the work load and the stress of not doing the job properly and feeling bad for the kids! I’m still zombiefied from the tablets too! The exercise is helping, but I could sleep all day if I let myself!